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The college experience is generally touted as the best years of your life. Sure, you鈥檙e there to get an education and there鈥檚 no denying that your classes can be difficult and demanding at times, but strangely, the simple act of learning how to say no is often one of the hardest things to discover.

If you have ever wanted to turn down an invitation but wound up attending an event or joining an organization because you felt too guilty to say no, you鈥檙e not alone. Read more and learn how to say 鈥淣o thanks!鈥� without driving yourself crazy.

Are You Too Busy?

For most traditional-age students, college is a whirlwind of activity. Most 鈥渇ull-time鈥� students physically spend just fifteen hours or less in class each week, and many confess to studying far less often than recommended. This generally allows plenty of time for a part-time job, hitting the clubs or going to parties, and having an active Greek life or participating in other school groups.

But having a bit of time on your hands doesn鈥檛 mean you should run yourself ragged or give up on sleep. According to the adults should aim for seven to nine hours of sleep each night. The University of Georgia鈥檚 University points out that students who average six or fewer hours of sleep each night feel more tired (obviously!) as well as sad and stressed out.

Understand Why You Always Say Yes

Even if you are getting enough sleep or have enough time on your hands, it鈥檚 perfectly acceptable to choose a night home alone with the TV over going to College Night at the bar with your friends. Just as distant relatives who don鈥檛 even get along spend holidays together out of tradition or guilt, people accept invitations they don鈥檛 really want to for a few different reasons:

• You鈥檙e generally a people person and figure it will turn out okay.
• You鈥檙e afraid of offending the person who invited you.
• You don鈥檛 want to let anyone down.
• You say yes now, but plan on making up an excuse beforehand to get out of whatever it is.
• You鈥檙e afraid that you鈥檒l miss something exciting or important if you don鈥檛 go or participate.
• You don鈥檛 want to be a party pooper.

The truth is, spreading yourself too thin or lying to get out of something can backfire and cause more problems than simply turning down an invite. Saying yes even though you want to say no will most likely cause internal resentment against the person who invited you, which may confuse or anger them once they realize your heart just isn鈥檛 it in鈥攚hatever 鈥渋t鈥� is.

Thanks, But No Thanks!

Saying no politely might be tough for you at first, but it is possible. It takes confidence and a bit of nerve, but there鈥檚 nothing selfish about occasionally putting your own needs first. Remember these tips:

• Listen to the person who is inviting you somewhere or asking you to do something without interrupting them.
• If possible, buy time by saying something like 鈥淟et me get back to you on that鈥� or 鈥淚鈥檒l check my schedule and let you know tomorrow.鈥�
• Whether you turn someone down immediately or after a day or two, say no simply and calmly without raising your voice. It鈥檚 actually easy鈥斺�淚鈥檓 sorry, but I can鈥檛.鈥�
• If you feel like you must offer an excuse, apologize without caving in. Say 鈥淚鈥檇 love to, but I鈥檓 really busy because of 鈥︹�� or 鈥淭hat sounds like fun, but I already promised to 鈥︹��

Agreeing to do anything and everything during college might seem harmless enough, but the habit could actually cause you to get into dangerous situations, such as going on a date with just someone you don鈥檛 like or someone you are afraid of, taking drugs, or getting involved in something illegal. Those activities could cause much bigger problems than schedule conflicts!

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Posted on 1 Feb

Melissa Rhone earned her Bachelor of Music in Education from the University of Tampa. She resides in the Tampa Bay area and enjoys writing about college, pop culture, and epilepsy awareness.